Tamar responds, “Sending me away is even worse than what you actually did to me!” But Amnon ignores her. He doesn’t feel the same about her anymore. 

Why? 

One has to ask … Was that passion that Amnon had for Tamar before he raped her really love? Or was it lust? If it had been love … True love … Wouldn’t he have felt the same for her afterward as well ... Or even more so? 

Now, pay attention, because many people think that a physical relationship can keep another person’s love for them alive, but it usually ends up a failure. It is such a common belief, especially among teenagers and young adults. One or both parties may think that having sex will be an exciting adventure, but after it’s done, the boy hates the girl because she’s easy, and the girl hates the boy because he never really truly loved her … Just wanted t'have him a little fun. Whether you’re male or female, don’t mistake lust for love. Examine it very carefully. Investigate, inquire, inspect, dig, prove, test … You owe it to yourself ... And to God.   

Imagine how detestable they both felt. Amnon, because when the lust of the flesh is gone, the spirit faces the TRUTH, and he realized what a horrible violation he just committed against, aughhhhh, his own sister! … And Tamar because she had not only been defiled, but defiled and then rejected the instant it was finished! 

Not only did Amnon kick Tamar out, but he called to his servant and said to get her out of his sight and lock the door behind her. Ouch!

Tamar then did the ashes on the head thing and tore her clothes, like one would do who was in mourning … Because she WAS! Her virginity was dead.  

She was crying when her brother Absalom found her and he asked if Amnon had been with her. When she told him what happened, he consoled her and asked her to be patient and not to worry about what happened. So Tamar, forlorn and stripped of her dignity, stayed with Absalom after that. To expose the crime would have brought disgrace upon the entire family, and a woman so violated would not have been eligible for marriage in those days ... The kings daughter to boot. A tragic story.

AMNON BIBLE STUDY LESSON WITH AMNON BIBLE STUDY EXPLANATION

Time out! Is this story of incest just a lesson for when it happens between siblings? Absolutely not! Lust is a tool of the devil that unfortunately, particularly in the current generation runs rampant, and incest is damaging souls in exponential numbers among the human race. The devil has used the world to present defiling thoughts to people and when a person chooses to entertain those thoughts, the results are devastating. No little toddler boy thinks in his mind, that when he grows up he's gonna abuse his sister or his daughter. No ... The idea came from outside influences. Does that make it justifiable? Heaven's NO! But knowing the source may help a victim to live inside their own skin after the fact. Never forget that the forbidden fruit was the one that the devil tempted Eve with. Had it not been forbidden, it wouldn't have held any curiosity or interest. Note that in mankind, the more forbidden something is, with more greed it is desired. That is the consequence of original sin, and as Christians, we MUST depend on the Lord to be our strength and pursue righteousness whenever we are presented with trial and tribulation from that old serpent.

Let's also talk about sibling relationships at a young age. There are many that, because of worldly examples, are convinced that it is sport to be in rivalry with one's brothers and or sisters, but in fact, protection is the honorable virtue one should demonstrate from the heart for their family. How does you think the Lord feels about the term 'dysfunctional family' being one that people are eager to use as a conversation piece ? Be very careful of the enemy when he tries to plant seeds of destruction in the mind under the guise of normalcy and in harmony with what the world finds acceptable.

You can tell by Amnon's behavior, that his conscience (or his subconscious mind) was seared by his actions. He could have chosen to humble himself and repent for his sin, but his pride (which is another tool of the devil's, but also an act of choice) overcame him and convinced him to abhor his sister, who moments ago he loved to the point of infirmity! Sin has a way of multiplying if the sinner doesn't choose humility. Those who are predators know this as well as their victims. This is such a shameful thing in the minds of both, that in most cases, it is never spoken of by either the predator or the victim and oft times it happens repeatedly, because the enemy knows how to manipulate the predator into a cycle of lust, performance, self-disgust, pride, justification, then lust again. The victim on the other hand most of the time wrestles with fear and shame, never telling anyone and usually blaming God and/or despising their own beauty and blame themselves as well for attracting their attacker, many times allowing it to occur again without protest because of fear and other reasons and detesting the feeling of uncleanness. It is such an heartrending tragedy, yet the enemy convinces the predator to continue to pursue this cycle, and the victim to submit, and lives are defiled over and over again. If you have found yourself a predator or a victim, ask for the strength and wisdom of God to overcome. Do not settle for allowing it to continue. If you are a victim and are being threatened, the Lord may guide you to a source of protection outside your home.

Now, back to our story. When king David heard of everything that happened, he was angry, but he did nothing about it. (Perhaps, knowing first hand how strong temptation can be, he didn't feel the right to judge his son for something he himself could not control not long ago. Not only that, but do you suppose David was feeling more than a twinge of guilt that maybe his bad example may have been instrumental in bringing this all about? What a befuddling situation for all involved.) Absalom showed no outward sign of emotion toward Amnon, neither good nor bad, but disdained him at heart because he raped his sister. 

After two years had passed, Absalom was going to shear sheep in Baal-hazor, and he invited king David and all his brothers to join him. David himself declined the invitation but Absalom convinced David with much urging, to let all the brothers go along.

 Now secretly, Absalom commanded his servants, “When Amnon gets drunk, and when I give you the word, don't be afraid of anything, just go and kill him. And Absalom’s servants killed Amnon just as he commanded. Then all the king’s sons jumped on their mules and got outta Dodge.

As the rest of Absalom’s brothers were on their way back to Jerusalem, David heard the news that Absalom had killed all the king’s sons and there was no one still alive. The king got up, tore his clothes and lay on the ground. All his servants stood near him with their clothes torn as well. You must imagine that David must have felt exceedingly grieved now, since he allowed Amnon to go to the shearing, with the odds of Absalom taking vengeance on his brother a very possible conclusion.